Let me start with this quote:
"We must take our troubles to the Lord, but we must do more than that; we must leave them there." Hannah Whitall Smith
I think I'm in need of an attitude adjustment. Remember a few blogs ago how I talked of a dark cloud looming over my head? It's nothing big. It's ALL the little insignificant things that seem to take a sour turn. I know, and am thankful for my 3 healthy kids, a loving husband, a nice house to live in and car to drive, and I'm getting to travel to amazing places.... I don't go hungry, nor have to deal with many of the problems that so many parents do. I get to stay home with my kids, not wake up and run off to work everyday. I have one on one time with them, EVERY day. Though... I still manage to have a bad attitude. Here lately, it has been blossoming and I've got to get a grip before my kids begin to mirror me.
Here's an example of today.... you'll see what I mean. I can take a day like this here and there, but it seems to be happening constantly. My mother in law got to see a glimpse while she was here... It's constant and I'm about to lose it.
The kids guitar hero breaks this morning. Not a big deal, they can live without it, but they spent their joint - hard earned chore money for this thing. They've only had it a little over a month. (We've already ordered a part to fix it, we hope.) Then, I get a phone call from the youth center. The boys' basketball camp next week has been canceled. Again, not a big deal. But, this is the 2nd camp canceled and Landen was looking forward to both of them. There's not much to do here in the summer - so he's been counting down the days until camp. He was broken hearted.
Let's go bowling, I decide. Nope. We get there and its league play. AGAIN. This is the 3rd time we have gone and been told no lanes were open. The 3rd time the kids were disappointed. We get there at 4:30 and I'm told at 5:00 every lane except 2 of them will be closed. I ask, very nicely, if we can put our names on the list for 1 of the 2 lanes? We hang around for an hour. One hour... the kids play video games and we eat. 5:00 comes and goes... nobody is there. The lanes are all still open. At 5:30, the lady tells me, "oh... there open now if you want to play. The people that had them reserved only needed 2 lanes!" This is after the last visit we went and were told to come back 3 hours later, only to come back and it took an extra 1 hour to clean the lanes which she failed to tell me. Anyway, we bowl... and I chew off all my fingernails because I'm angry. Did I mention our lane kept breaking and resetting during the middle of the game?
We leave bowling... I ask the kids, "Who wants to get a milkshake on the way home?" We head to Burger King and place our order, "Sorry, we're out of milkshake mix!" !*&%$#! Breathe, Jolee Breathe. I reply thank you, only now I'm sandwiched in between 4 cars and I can't get out. We wait and wait and wait... for no milkshake. Homeward bound we go.... I'll take the new back gate out which is so close to our house. It's locked, it closed at 6:00pm. I knew that, I just forgot. Again, not a biggie, but you can only drive about 20 mph on base and we had to go ALL the way back to the other side and triple back again to our house without a milkshake in hand.
I'm sure there are things I left out. Like we have our school supply list, yet can't get them at the BX. And we had our GPS navigation system and Matt's ipod stolen out of our car two nights ago. Oh, and Matt's leaving for 6 weeks. We went to the shoppette yesterday to get an icee (isn't our life exciting?) and the icee machine is empty. Isn't life a peach sometimes?
So, I'm not used to living in such a rural area. I'm not used to having to entertain myself day in and day out. I get that I need family time and cherish it, but I'm personally tired of it right now. I'm ready for school to start. The kids are ready for school to start. I want to go to Target. I'm trying to hang in there, to have a good attitude, but its diminishing....
Don't get the wrong idea. I love my husband, I love my kids and I know I'm here for a reason. I've just got to find what it is as I'm here for 2 more years. I know that nothing MAJOR is wrong, it could be so much worse. I really have no business complaining at all.
It'll come. Tomorrow will be a brighter day, right?
7 comments:
Oh, Jolee..I feel for you. Today was one of those days and, as strange as it sounds, I was happy to see your post today. It's nice to know someone feels the same way I do sometimes. I often let those little things that happen irritate me to the point that I feel like I am going to explode. And don't get me started on the &@*!@ school supplies! If it makes you feel any better, we live in the 3rd largest city in the US and I ended up having to special order a large chunk of Wolffe's list. Grr.
Jolee, I think we all have periods in life like this.....It's no fun while it's happening, but at least it doesn't last forever. I can completely understand what you are going through- as I was reading your post, it sounded like some of my days around here!! Hang in there!
Awwww, cheer up!! I'll come visit soon and make it all better.
Jolee... hang in there. It has to turn around! You are ok.. you appreciate what you have and you know who to turn those things over to, I know it's easier said than done. I know it's so much when you have to think about the upcoming 6 weeks.. I'm on a 3 week home alone with Davis and it's really really tough. I know it's tougher for you being over there, and I can't imagine having to do it so far away from family. I'm praying for you!!
Oh girl, days like that just make you wish you had all piled in bed, stayed in your pjs and watched a movie don't they? Don't despair. You are a good mom, a great mom. Your kids will probably remember this day as a fun day. I mean they got to play games at the bowling alley, eat bowling alley food, AND bowl. What a day!
Hang in there. They aren't all like this!!!
Julie
You are my mommy idol - you should know that first...you're a great mom! I've been in a rut like this before (and I know I've vented to you about it) and you assured me that it gets better so now I'll assure you! Just hang in there...those clouds will pass soon!
i agree with julie, the kids probably were lovin' it when they look back. they have a great way of forgetting things, thank the good Lord. anyway, you are NOT alone, my friend. many a day i thank the Lord for the short memories of my kids and hope that i haven't damaged them too much with my chaotic self. your description of rural is guam to a tee. i was never so happy to shop in all my life as when we returned from there...on the flipside, however, i really want to go back because life was simple and though i was cooped up with t-bird all day, and she with me, and daddy gone and nothing to do, it turned out to be a great time, just didn't realize it, nor want to at the time. i tell ya, though, vitamin "p" really combats murphy's law...heehee!
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